Chapter 4 -- Fodder for Elephants

fod·der - (noun)  feed for livestock, especially coarsely chopped hay or straw

Ok.  So they may not be livestock, and we may not be hay, but we were most DEFINITELY almost elephant food. Apparently wild Mara elephants aren't near as snuggly and cute as the ones at the orphanage!

Our first elephant sighting of the weekend found us watching a family of 4 elephants: mom, dad, a big kid, and a baby. They were eating tree-dinner maybe 25 yards away from us, down a rocky little hill.  After a few minutes, Mama Elephant started getting more and more irritated that we were there -- likely because we were closer than she'd have liked to her baby -- so she took a break from chowing down on trees and started working her way up the hill to stand guard over her family.  We really weren't doing anything, just sitting there quietly, watching and taking pictures, but her posture became increasingly more aggressive as she got closer.  And closer.  And closer.  Mind you, Jonathan chose this particular instance to get rather cheeky and TURNED THE ENGINE OFF.  So the situation is this: Mama Elephant is stomping towards us, ears out and tusks a' gleaming, we're sitting in a parked truck, and Papa Elephant decides that this does indeed seem like a rather fine night for human-devouring, so he too heads in our direction.  At the same time, the baby heads our way, which is bound to heighten Mom's anxiety.  As John, my Nairobi driver, would say: "This is not good..."   Only when we're literally cornered by 3 wild African Elephants (I think the teenager was too busy eating dinner to be bothered) does Jonathan finally decide to quit laughing and turn the car back on again.  I think Dad getting within about 3 feet of the us was the deal-breaker...

Lucky for you, there is video evidence of the whole ordeal, taken and narrated by our safari companion, Stephen, the Scotsman.  I don't know if this can possibly be as funny to you all as it was to the 5 of us, but watching it back sure does make us laugh.

In addition to the video, there are, of course, the hoards of photos that I couldn't stop taking, of both the savage family of Death Elephants and the other regular ones who did not, in fact, try to maim us.

Yeah...they look all sweet and innocent, eating their trees, don't they?
Don't let them fool you.  They're Death Monsters.

Showing off her Trunk Twist moves

Exhibiting just how scary his tusks are -- This was just
before he decided to turn them into implements of death.

The motive behind this whole Mama-charges-the-car thing -- Just couldn't
stay where you were, could you, baby?

Mama getting closer...

And closer...

And CLOSER (!!)
At least she didn't eat my camera.  I'd have been pissed...

Here's a normal family of non-death-brigade elephants.  How cute is their baby??
"Wait for me, mama!"

One tusk way shorter than the other -- If I were this elephant, I'd have to
file the other one off on a tree or something.  Ask anyone; this would literally drive me insane...

I'm sorry, is there anything cuter than baby animals learning the ropes??
And look at his little dark grey sock-looking legs, from where he
was in the water.  Too adorable

Also, please pardon the inexcusably cheesy title of this chapter.  I just couldn't help myself.  And if you have yet to read Water for Elephants, you really should.  It's excellent.  The movie's not half bad either, but this is coming from a self-diagnosed Reese Witherspoon junkie, so...take that for what it's worth.