Chapter 1 -- Into The Wild

Foreword:  Ok, people.  Your pleas have been heard.  I promise I'm not tormenting you for my own amusement.  It really is a painstaking process to fight with the internet around here.  Well, that, and having to choose which pictures to share is like choosing your favorite child.  I feel like I'm cheating on all of the other ones.  But I've finally done it.  So without further ado, I present to you the glorious saga of my unforgettable weekend in the Masai Mara, Chapters 1 through 5.

Chapter 1 - Into The Wild

Knowing that we had a long weekend at our disposal, and all too aware that we'd need a distraction from the fact that we were missing the kickoff to the college football season in the US, two of my colleagues from our DC office, Jennifer, Brett, and I set out on what is quite possibly the coolest adventure ever.  It's really too bad that Aaron and Kaarli couldn't join us as well, but with it being so close to baby time, I suppose it really isn't worth it to risk her going into early labor in the middle of absolute nowhere and having to have her baby in some hut made out of sticks and cow poo.  However, if you know Aaron, you know that most definitely sounds like a story that he would love to tell for years to come.

We left Nairobi early last Saturday morning on a teensy little plane, flew about 45 minutes out over the Great Rift Valley (spotting giraffes and zebras from the air!) and landed at the "airport" in the middle of the Masai Mara just before 11:00 am.

Tiny Plane on the Tiny Airport "Runway"

"Terminal" & "Gate"

"Baggage Claim"

Airport Parking Lot -- Can you tell what the Mara's chosen mode of transportation is??

We were greeted by Jonathan, our very own Maasai warrior, who would be our driver and safari guide for the rest of the weekend.  And what a guide he was!  He showed us every creature you could imagine (save the rhinoceros, but we'll get to that), thought up animal-stalking tricks that none of the other drivers seemed to think of, and we truly had a great time with him.  He also has quite the trickster sense of humor, as chronicled in the perilous elephant experience of Chapter 4.

Brett (L), Faith, Jonathan, & Jennifer (R), out on the Mara with an unlucky wildebeest.
And if you're a Mara park ranger reading this, no, of course we didn't break the rules get out of the truck...

Goofing off with my most favorite Maasai warrior buddies, Jonathan (L) & Dee (R)

Don't cross me, warrior men...I can be tough too!

It never stopped tripping me out to see Jonathan's warrior outfit in the
mirror as we were driving along...especially when he was on his cell phone!

We arrived at the Tipilikwani Mara Camp right around lunchtime...but not before seeing lions, cheetahs, giraffes, impalas, cape buffalo, and warthogs, all on our drive in from the airport!  How boring will my average airport-to-home drive seem now??  We checked in, got situated, had lunch, and had a bit of time to explore before our first game drive.  Here's what was waiting for us...

My tent marker -- Robert Wangila was a Kenyan boxer who won
the first Olympic gold medal for Africa in something other than
track and field.  He also died from injuries sustained
in a Vegas boxing match.  Whoops...

My front porch/monkey-watching spot

My little outdoor castle in the middle of nowhere -- I. love. this. place.

Bathroom, complete with yet another rain shower -- Who knew Kenya was so fancy?

Every night when we came back from dinner, we'd find that they'd put traditional Maasi cloth-wrapped
hot water bottles under our covers.  I could definitely get used to this...

We also found a few bonus treasures...

Baby tree monkeys, spotted from my reading chair

Cute, cute, cute...until the big ones come running towards you, squawking really loudly!

One of the warriors tried to tell us that we stumbled across a spot where "some of
the kids just made this while they were playing; see it's a pretend village..."

Umm...B.S., dude.  That is totally African voodoo!
It's a SKULL, for God's sake!

Anyway, curses and witch doctors notwithstanding, after getting settled, Jonathan took us out on our first game drive of the weekend, which lasted about 4 hrs.

We drove straight across the river probably 10 times...and only once
did we come close to a hippo-human collision.  Wicked fun, by the way.

We saw just about every animal the Mara has to offer, some far more up-close than I'd have ever imagined...lions and elephants included.  Beautiful and amazing and scary, all at the same time.  (Animal photos to follow in Chapters 2-4.)  We watched one of those iconic, lone-Acacia-tree-against-a-red/orange/yellow-sky African sunsets that I don't think you can adequately capture in a photograph.  I tried anyway.  

Arriving back at camp, we were greeted by additional warriors, who escorted us all to our tents (must avoid those wild tree monkey attacks, you know) to switch into warmer clothes for dinner -- it was definitely chilly once the sun went down!  We met back at the dining pavilion (which your slacker narrator apparently did not take one picture of) for drinks by the campfire, followed by the yummiest dinner.  People, when you hear the words "camp" and "tent" in this context, you should definitely not feel sorry for us!  This place was just about as swanky as any hotel you've ever been in.  I'm telling you, if I were parked somewhere with fairly consistent weather, I could literally live in a tent like this.  

Sunday and Monday continued much in this same vein.  Wake up early, game drive, return to camp for breakfast, hang out for awhile, read on one of the many porches, lunch, another game drive, back for dinner, sit around the campfire (sans s'mores, unfortunately), and early to sleep.  After all, the generators are turned off at 11:00 pm, so...lights off, kids.  Gotta be up at 5:30 am to start all over again!

The next 4 chapters contain the bulk of the photo evidence from the weekend.  And while I took nearly 1,000 pictures and tried my best to capture what we saw, there is no way to accurately convey to you what's really out here, so...the moral of the story is that you just may have to take a trek out to the great Masai Mara yourself someday!  Believe me, it's worth it.  You will not be disappointed.  Until then...enjoy!

Early morning hot air balloon launch over the Mara -- I will be doing this before I die.  Mark it down.